


If our love is a day dream, please just wake me up.

by jiahah



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Secret Relationship, Toxic Relationship, bitter break up, cause i wrote it in a hurry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:08:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26699569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jiahah/pseuds/jiahah
Summary: Hyungwon didn’t deserve Changkyun’s love, and he knew it.
Relationships: Chae Hyungwon/Im Changkyun | I.M
Kudos: 18





	If our love is a day dream, please just wake me up.

Hyungwon woke up from his dreamless sleep to find Changkyun siting in the edge the messy bed quietly staring at the corner. Hyungwon blinked at the boy. Changkyun was a late riser as a rule and Hyungwon, without a benefit of the doubt, always woken up first every time they spent a night together. Today was an exception. Hyungwon didn't bother to leave the bed and get dressed, he found himself silently admiring Changkyun quietly from his spot. He felt his heart skipping a beat as his eyes found its way to Changkyun's tattoo on his back, a red rose with its thorny stem devouring what seemed like a damaged heart.

_**“If our love is a day dream, please just wake me up.”** _

Hyungwon frowned as he notice the new tatoo on Changkyun’s back. He didn’t recall Changkyun mentioning it, which was something abnormal in their relationship. Changkyun has a habit of telling Hyungwon about every little detail in his life, no matter how little Hyungwon actually cared. 

_Maybe he just forgets_ , thought Hyungwon.

The silence prolonged until a small but abrupt sound ringing from the night table right beside the bed, which successfully caught both Hyungwon’s and Changkyun’s attention. Hyungwon glanced at the phone’s screen without even picking it up from the table. A new message from his “love” choked him up with guilt. Hyunwoo, his love, who was on his work trip to New York for a week, the one who was planing on asking Hyungwon for his hand, had no idea about Changkyun. And the next moment, when he raised his head just to catch Changkyun’s hollow eyes, Hyungwon suddenly felt like a jerk. 

He knew he shouldn’t do it to either Hyunwoo or Changkyun. Not when both of the two men had given him their heart without asking for anything back. Hyungwon sure loved Changkyun, the feeling of thousands of butterfly in his stomach was undeniable and Hyungwon would be lying, if he said his heart didn’t once felt the urge to press his lip on Changkyun’s and the happiness whenever he felt the boy’s touch on his bare skin. 

Hyungwon remembered the time that Changkyun found out about Hyungwon’s and Hyunwoo’s relationship. The younger boy stormed out their hotel room with his old backpack regardless of the rain pouring outside. Hyungwon didn’t go after the boy, thinking that it would be the best to give Changkyun some space and time to consider their relationship. However, after what felt like a month and Changkyun still didn’t reach out to him, Hyungwon panicked. He drove to Changkyun’s apartment, desperately begged Changkyun to forgive him and promise to break up with Hyunwoo. Till now, Hyungwon’s heart still clenched a little bit whenever the imagine of Changkyun that day with his teary eyes all red swollen looking at Hyungwon like a kicked puppy popped up in his mind. However it had been three years since that fatal day and Hyungwon clearly had yet broken up with anyone. He selfishly kept his relationship with Changkyun in the dark while put on the act of a beloved boyfriend in front of Hyunwoo, despite how many time Changkyun had gracefully reminded him that the younger boy would never desire to be anyone’s secret lover.

Hyungwon just got back to reality once he felt Changkyun standing up from his spot. The boy abruptly reached for his shirt after putting on his jeans, didn’t even care to give Hyungwon a quick glance. Hyungwon eyes followed the younger boy’s every movement. He wanted to say something, anything to break this bitter silence, yet he chocked on his own words. He nervously squeezed his own hand when Changkyun reached for his pack and was just about couple steps away from the front door.

Hyungwon wanted to yell, or at least run after the younger to stop him from leaving, but he was glued on the spot, he froze from the fear that had been bottling up inside him for the longest time. He was scared that what was about to happen next would be just like what appeared in his nightmare, Changkyun walking out the door without looking back and never coming back Q back. 

The younger suddenly made a spin right after his brief touch to the door handle, perfectly faced Hyungwon from his spot. 

**_“Let’s never meet again.”_** , he whispered softly, but enough to make Hyungwon shiver and jump up from his spot. Hyungwon reached out for Changkyun’s wrist, clung to it like a lifeline, “No. Changkyun, please tell me you don’t mean it. You are just angry, you are just not thinking straight.”

“Hyungwon…”

“Changkyun, I know I’m a selfish bastard, I know I’ve hurt you so much. But you love me? You love me right?”

Changkyun looked up at Hyungwon right in the eyes with disbelief, he was on the edge to break down, knowing that what Hyungwon had said was nothing beyond the truth yet he couldn’t let himself to such a thing.

“You are right, I did and I still do.” 

**_“Then tell me Changkyun, if you still love me, why do you want to leave?”_** , Hyungwon asked as he tried to pull Changkyun in his embrace, thinking that the younger would fall for his hollow promises again this time. However, the silence from Changkyun said otherwise. The guy didn’t let Hyungwon tug him in a hug, he took a step back, trying to loosen Hyungwon’s hand on his wrist. Changkyun didn’t dare to look at the older guy as he was afraid that he would lost in Hyungwon’s eyes if he did. 

**_“Hyung, no love should hurt this much.”_ **

And by that, Hyungwon let go of the younger. Changkyun signed, he felt like knife had stabbed through his heart when he noticed Hyungwon’s tears falling down his cheek. That moment, Changkyun remembered how Hyungwon never shed a tears in front of him before, which did only added salt into these fresh cut in his heart because as much as Changkyun hated Hyungwon, he loved that very guy way too much that he himself couldn’t stand the idea of him being hurt. Yet Changkyun knew that he had to free himself from this bitter dream and get going with his life, because he deserved better. Changkyun made a beeline to the front door and ran away from his once lover. 

Hyungwon stood still in his spot, tears running down his cheeks but he didn’t care anymore as the Changkyun’s warmth on his hand faded little by little. He fell on his knee, let the numbness eating him alive. 

~~Hyungwon didn’t deserve Changkyun’s love, and he knew it.~~


End file.
